Asterisk of Faith

There happens to be a difference in thought process about life, about how much effort I want to put into things. My time is just counting down, to a single day, a certain location, a time. There's things that you can't rush and shouldn't set in stone and shouldn't put all your faith in, but I do. I know I should focus on school, but I've got this typical love scene superglued to my brain, and it's spastically tugging at my spine. I'm surprised at how much an idea drives me.

I've wanted to leave this rediculous state for as long as I can remember, not because of what's here but that it's here. Rewriting myself for the sake of leaving is a deep process, and I'm learning how different that side of me is. I spend alot of time trying to impress people I love, when all I really need is to be happy with myself. Cliche, cliche's, but all that really holds in stone with me are two things: February 7th and San Francisco.

SF? Never been. I hear it's nice. But can I make it alone? No family to watch my back, no friends to keep me down to earth?

Me: I've never been to SF...what if I don't like it? Or don't fit in?
Chinchilla: You fit in everywhere. And fitting in takes all the fun out, look at me! Lol.
Me: Good point. But AAU...art school...it's going to be wierd.
Chinchilla: Why?
Me: I'm going to be alone. Usually I have somebody to show my artwork to.
Chinchilla: I'll be there, duh.
Me: Promise?
Chinchilla: Promise.

Okay, maybe I'm not THAT scared...just ________
Anxious
Nervous
Excited
Torn
Thrown

-D